I am not depressed anymore!

Hello everyone...
Like the title suggested, I am not depressed anymore. I feel better and I think I am hungry for more adventures. The ending of 2008 wasnt very good for me. Despite knowing that I am basically a cliffhanger forawhile, something happened in December that made me go for the plunge into a deep blue abyss. I lurked in this abyss for a long period of time. Days seemed so long and meaningless, and nights are nightmarish and unsettled. I've developed a certain kind of insomniac nights as well. I just don't know what to do with my life anymore. Everything ended right there. I have made my way into a dead end. No one could lift me up with anything at any moment in the depression period. I guessed my circumstances has been getting along with the current not-so-good condition of global market. Both advantages and disadvantages of my predicaments have been thought about and in the end, I thought, "Hey, whatever happened wasn't so bad! What have I been doing all this time?"

See, what made me cameback from the darkhole is the fact that I have been enjoying my time around friends and families. Listening to their stories and tales. Trying to adjust and reason other people's experiences and circumstances with mine. In difficult times, we always think that we are the worst, our accident is the worst a person could handle. Then I read more books of mine, trying to scrutinize the gist of each stories I devoured. Every book I picked up has a moral value to it. If it doesnt have one, I'll try to relate one with the book. I have been strategising my life in the future as well. I think if I haven't had this break, I wouldn't have thought that far into my future. I thought very very hard about what I wanted in life. I meant, what I REALLY REALLY wanted in life. Yes, so far I am satisfied with it but there are a few aspects that I have to improve. Improvement is good, meaning that I am willing to change to get to the goal I desired.

BUT, what made me really really feel good was the fact that I picked up a brush for the first time after 8 years! The biggest procrastinator has done the very thing she wishes she had kept for so long. I will show you what my drawing looked like. No, its not good yet but with practice, I am pretty sure I can be as good as I used to be. I used to paint since 12 years of age but by 18 I have stopped doing so because of Architecture (read: Architecture screwed up my life). The media I chose to paint was watercolour. Why Watercolour? Watercolour is deemed the hardest media to draw with due to its translucent and soluble material. Too much water is too wet, or too little water tend to drag on the paper. I like this kind of complexities because of its technical aspects. See, to achieve perfection, you have to practice. To be able to practice correctly, you have to refer to great exercise or 'accomplised' exercise. Exercises that worked. Not just doodling blindly on the paper, but do something with affirmative objectives. So when I started, I thought, I need to practice on the handling of the washes so I used up first 3 pages of Not (Cold Pressed Paper) just doing 'skies', 'hills' and 'body of water'. The washes were important in my development to familiarise myself with the brushes and washes technique. Then I did little 'objects' on the same paper. Just with a medium brush, drawing the details testing my stroke, testing myself of how well I can manage with the size of the brush. Not too well on that but the first big thing I did was the traditional composition of a Malay House. The picture I had was taken way back in 2005, the house was in Terengganu when we had an architectural excursion. So I did a little bit of pencil outline, used Art Masking Fluid to protect white areas and -voila!- there you go. This is the proudest of my work at the moment.


The Malay House is my first and there will be more to come. I wish that one day painting will also be my forte, alongside being an architect/designer. I appreciate art and nature and I just love beautiful inventions. I will post more drawings and paintings.
Have a nice day!